The Wrong Chocolate Factory


"I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest." (Mr. Turkentine, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)

Every once in a while I come across Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was on MTV this morning and I got sucked in, but not because I care for it. While the versatile Johnny Depp is always someone to watch, I can barely stand this movie. There are a few chuckles here and there, but nothing close to the original. I do like Charlie and his grandfather, though, and the ending is nice, the first time in the entire movie you can actually see Wonka as human. Even if I'm not comparing it to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, it's exceedingly unrealistic and annoying for the most part. I need to have sympathy for a character or be amused by them to like them and they need to have some sort of basis in reality. The original Oompa Loompas weren't creepy, shrunken clones. Well, actually, they were a bit creepy.

The songs in the original were great.

The new songs need to be killed.

The children and their parents were horrible yet funny. The new people deserve to all go down the garbage chute. And though Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka had a slight mean streak, as opposed to Depp's bubbling under the surface insanity, he was hilarious and conveyed a sadness in his eyes even while he was smiling. Willy Wonka is a movie that anyone of any age can enjoy over and over. Charlie is a movie to pretend never existed.

Buy These:
DVD, $9.99

Blu-ray Collector's Edition, $59.99

Not These:
DVD, $5.49

Blu-ray, $17.99

Bonus Fact//
Mr. Turkentine was played by David Battley. He was also Ergo in Krull, another favorite movie of mine.

Now, time to watch The New Adventures of Old Christine for a welcome dose of hilarity. :) But Clark Gregg is in it, so it's time to miss Coulson again. :( Need to get back to The Avengers before it's out of theaters.


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